truths and fairytales
by but seriously
Summary: -"Maybe he's forgotten how to love me." Drabbles collected from the present, past, and future thoughts of Claire Lyons. AU.
1. the end of the end

**Truths and Fairytales**

_by hannah_

—

**.**

—

You're standing there, staring unseeingly at the way the shadows fall and reflect against the dark glass. You're standing there, looking at me but not quite looking at me. You're standing there, and I wonder how this came to be.

You're standing there, and I almost smile—you came here to stop me; maybe even came here to tell me you've finally settled things with her, that everything's okay. My cheeks are wet—are those tears? No, they can't be, since I've cried it all out the night before and in the hot, steaming shower this morning.

But yes, they are tears, and they're coming steadily and you're just _standing there_, and I'm just standing _here_ waiting for you to smile back at me.

And then you walk away.

And that hurts like a bitch.

—

Alana's her name; Alana Parker. Dr. Parker, she tells me with a smile. Pleasant, friendly, and vacant. I wonder if she hates her job. I hate her job.

I'm standing there, staring unseeingly at how the equipment in the room seems so unreal. I'm standing there, looking at the seat but not quite looking at it. I'm standing there, wondering how this came to be.

And then I think of you, and through the tears I let out a bitter smile.

—

"Are you ready, Miss Lyons?"

I can't hesitate. I won't. I'm ready. I nod. I open my mouth, and then I say,

"No."

My eyes widen and Dr. Parker's just narrow in confusion.

"I—I'm sorry." I shook my head and close my eyes. "I'm ready. Do it."

—

I can almost say goodbye. It's so tiny. It's so disgusting.

The tears won't stop now, and I feel disgusted. At the unborn child, at myself. I'm supposed to be reveling in the beauty of the moment, I'm supposed to feel profound. I'm supposed to cry and cry and cry and regret my decision.

But all I can think is how disgusting it is, and how much it hurts. It hurts so much.

Because I'm Claire Lyons, and I just hurt like a bitch. And because you're Derrick Harrington, and you're walking away. You're Derrick Harrington and you just don't care.

* * *

**I don't own the Clique. Review? :) Like it, hate it, concrit it, I'd like to hear it from you, please.**


	2. the beginning of the beginning

**Truths and Fairytales, II**

* * *

Hands. Breathing. Sweat.

The wet kisses, hot as the summer sunshine on my skin yet as soft as the hair I'm running through my fingers.

And then there's his smile.

He loves me.

Or maybe, he _loved_ me.

I'll always have that.

* * *

**Again, I have no ownage of the Clique.**


	3. wonderings in the middle

**Truths and Fairytales, III**

—

I wonder  
Why you never smile  
The way you used to  
Just because  
I'm getting  
Bigger and bigger and bigger  
And just because  
It's getting  
Harder and harder and harder  
Too keep this between us  
And I wonder why  
I just suck at this.

I hand in my haiku. Mr Bell's complaining; it doesn't make any sense.

Art doesn't have to make any sense, I told him. Things don't have to make any sense for it to work, I say again.

But this time, I'm looking at you.

—

**Yes, a series of short little drabbles from the mind of our very own Claire Lyons. I've been feeling short and angsty lately, and you poor readers will just have to bear with it.**


	4. stamped all over you

**Truths and Fairytales, IV**

—

I like how Massie pretends that Derrick Harrington is all hers.

Because then I get to laugh. And when I laugh, Derrick looks around wildly at me, and his eyes plead for my silence.

The Massie turns to me and snaps and fizzles "You _slut_, where's the baby? Had it taken care of? Why, did the Daddy decide you're too much for him?"

I like how Massie pretends that Derrick is property, her human vision of Bean. Because I know that makes him feel guilty as filth.

—

**Sophie is totally right about the haiku thing. And um, the last chapter, "Wonderings in the Middle" is supposed to come before chapter one, and "The Beginning of the Beginning" is supposed to come first. Sorry, it's all jumbled up (:**

**Review?**


	5. creeping up on me

**Truths and Fairytales, V**

—

It wasn't that you like to _worry_, Layne reasons while sitting precariously on the edge of my bed. Her fingers tracd the stars of the old bedspread while as she continued, "You just _care_ too much."

Surreptitiously pressing my hands against my stomach, I look out my window. Perhaps I did. Too bad he didn't.

—

**Remember how I said I'd be gone for a while last January? And just **_**recently**_** came back? Well, the cycle continues this year as well. Sorry, my little elves, I truly apologize. ):**

**Merry Christmas, hope Santa makes you fursplode with green & red festive goodness.**


	6. pile up the jinxes

**Truths and Fairytales, VI**

—

Honestly, Massie's just a bitch for keeping such a tight leash on Derrick. When they've been over for, like, two weeks.

So I ask him to Chris Abeley's party, because what's the worse that could happen?

—

**Eheh, so it's not exactly in chronological order. Have fun shuffling them around in your minds, sorry I'm such a lazy bum D:**

**Thanks for the reviews!**


	7. crumple me gold

**Truths and Fairytales, VII**

—

The leaves are starting to turn red and gold.

Everything's starting to change. I'm starting to change.

But instead of feeling fiery and magnificent, I feel as weak as the leaves crumpling beneath my Keds.

—

**I love you all :3**

**The reviews you left for the last chapter was amazing! So do it again (:**


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